Angela, Zolac no Miko (zolac_no_miko) wrote,
Angela, Zolac no Miko

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Fic Meme Day 5

Every day (consecutively or not), post about one of your fanworks:
1. Something old
2. Something new
3. Something you made for someone else
4. Something you made just for yourself
5. Something for a large fandom/pairing/character
6. Something for a small fandom/pairing/character
7. Something you're just really proud of

I guess I'm going for the "large fandom" angle, although Steve/Bucky as a pairing has certainly gotten popular since CATWS, and I'm sure this contributed to the relative popularity of All the Things Forgotten Scream for Help.

This fic started, as many of mine do, as a case of spontaneous generation. Add whichever fandom/character you've currently on your mind ALL OF THE TIME to a song that happens to come on the shuffle on your iTunes that has sufficiently evocative lyrics and BAM! Instant fic!

In this case the song was Placebo's "Battle for the Sun", which is actually my Jason Todd song. Like, seriously, every single lyric in that song, Jason Todd. But my brain's been more Avengers than Batfamily lately, and especially in the months leading up to CATWS it was (and still is) ALL ANGSTY STEVE/BUCKY ALL THE TIME, and the song came on, and I was like "Hahahahaha imagine Steve chasing the Winter Soldier around and REALLY PISSING HIM OFF, I mean WHO IS THIS CAPTAIN AMERICA GUY UGH HE'S SO ANNOYING" and then we got to the bit in the song, "Dream brother, my killer, my lover~" and I was like "................Oh. *wibble*" The song's got a good sound for the angstiness of this particular arc too, so. I decided to do my take on how I thought it could play out in the MCU.

It ended up shorter than I'd originally planned. I think I was expecting to have more repeats of the dream, more run-ins with Steve and/or the Avengers, a more drawn-out, slow realization by the Soldier that Something Fucking Weird Is Going On Here. But it turned out not to feel necessary and, also, I think I was lazy. :P But I think it's fine how it is.

Writing the Soldier was an exceptionally interesting challenge. He established his character very firmly in my head, which in some ways made things easy, and in some ways made things hard. On the one hand, in that kind of case, the character pretty much writes themselves. On the other hand, the way his character got established...he's not one for deep thoughts. Feelings. Self-reflection. It's not in his programming. It's actively discouraged by his masters, and he tries to avoid it. Which, since the story is written from his POV, makes exposing his thoughts, feelings, and motivations to the reader VERY DIFFICULT. My beta and I struggled with it for a fair amount of time, and bits of it are very subtle, but I think not too subtle, now. And I like subtle. I like riding the edge of not stating things out loud but leaving enough clues that at least some or most of your readers will put it together if they're paying attention.

Anyway, I'm really happy with how it turned out, and my readers seem to like it also. I got some nice compliments. I think the mounting Steve/Bucky excitement before and after CATWS contributed to its popularity, and I think its length at 2145 words helped too; for some reason a lot of people tend to skip over things that are less than 1000 words, and like, SHORTFIC IS MY WHEELHOUSE. ...But I also feel that I've just done a properly solid job with it, too. :)

...Wow, so it's only been, like, almost two months since I updated this meme, MAYBE I'LL ACTUALLY FINISH IT SOMETIME THIS YEAR HAHAHA~!
Tags: bucky barnes, captain america movies, fanfic, marvel cinematic universe, meme, placebo, the winter soldier, writey
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