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Obey Zolac!

God-King of Hostilistan

Angela, Zolac no Miko
8 April 1986
I am a black hole. I am the better half of a lichen. I am the universe. I am special. I am the High-Priestess of Zolac, the God of Dead Ecotourists, God-King of Hostilistan, and Keeper of the Sacred Words: Je Suis Canadien, Copious Amounts of Gu, and Uncoverable Oozing Lesions. I am Jack's Incessant Sarcasm. I am a space heater, and a garbage disposal. I am bigger on the inside. I am... just so easily... lost my stuff. I am perfect. I am always serious, and I am never serious. This soup is who I am.

My life is a fanfic. I write fanfic about my life.

...But don't take my word for it. You can trust these celebrity testimonials!

"Take it, face uke." - Lauren (shichahn)

"Can I have a quick second? I need to find the Ange in my pants." - Lisa (graffitimoon)

"Angela: it's not a beverage, it's a lifestyle." - Heather (cosmogonic)

"Angela! No, you are not Jesus! You are a muffin!" - Chris

Tell everyone how awesome I am!

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If the sheer volume of words in my entries intimidates you (perhaps a case of logophobia?), you may wish to check me out on Twitter: @zolacnomiko

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Where have I been all your life? Check it out.

visited 27 states (54%)
Create your own visited map of The United States or determine the next president

visited 9 states (4%)
Create your own visited map of The World or determine the next president

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Look what I did!

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